Requital
by Mr. Demon Lawyer
Summary: After being executed, the phantom is ready to go to hell, but someone has other plans. No, tags aren't wrong. This is mean to be a humor story.
1. Justice

The Phantom woke up in a blank and empty room. The last thing he remembered was the floor under his feet disappearing and the sound of his neck cracking. A man with light brown hair wearing a white suit and sunglasses approached him.

"In justice we trust!" He yelled, displaying some sort of badge.

"What's going on?" The Phantom asked.

"You're a phantom."

"Yeah, people call me that."

"No, I mean a real phantom. You're dead."

"Is this hell? I thought you were a good guy."

"I'm not just a good guy, I'm a champion of justice!

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm here to rehabilitate you!"

"Rehabilitate me?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make sure that you turn into a responsible citizen able to properly coexist with the rest of spirit's society. I know you can make it, Mr...What was your name again?" He pouted. "Killing someone without even telling them your name is rude, you know?" _But is nice if you tell them it?_

"I can't remember my name."

"But I can't call you phantom, I mean, I'm a phantom as well, it would be confusing. What about...Mr. Ghost?" _Some creativity you have there._

"Then I'll call you Fool Bright."

"Fool Bright?"

"That's what Prosecutor Blackquill called you, I mean, me, I mean...Damn, this is weird. Anyway, how do you intend to rehabilitate me?"

"Obviously, you have to make as good deeds as wrongdoings you committed in life in order to balance your karma. Let's check them" He pulled out a notebook and started to turn pages." Woah! There's a lot of horrible things here. You're a true meanie, aren't you? To balance all this, you would need to rescue fifty millions kitten from trees or help eight hundred millions elderly persons across the street."

"Can't I just go and rot in hell."

"No. Let's begin!. As your first step, you must vow to embrace the path of justice."

"And how I'm supposed to do so?"

"Shout: In justice we trust!"

"..."

"I know you can do it pretty well. C'mon, shout with me: In justice we trust!"

"In justice we trust!" the phantom yelled, mocking Fulbright's voice.

"Perfect, and now, to seal the vow, shout it thousand times."

"..."

"We have all eternity and we're not moving from here until we are finished."

_Gosh, What have I done to deserve this? Oh. Right._

* * *

><p>AN: Ok, that was weird. I'm not sure how this thing came to my mind, but it came, so I wrote it. Chapter 2 soon.


	2. Love

The Phantom and Fulbright were flying through the sky.

"Where are we going?" Phantom asked.

"We're going to make up for some of the bad things you've done, of course." Fulbright replied. "I've seen one that's particularly terrible."

"What is it?"

"You cheated on your girlfriend in high school."

"I've done plenty of things worse than that."

"Worse than breaking the heart of a poor, innocent, little girl? I don't think so."

"No, really, I've done worse things, no doubt about it"

"Are you questioning my sense of justice!?"

"Whatever. What do you want me to do? Look for that girl and apologize?"

"No. You're going to help a couple of lovers in their love story." _Also known as meddling. _"Thus, you will understand the true meaning of love" _Also known as meddling. _"Look, there is our girl."

"That's Juniper Woods."

"Yeah. She's hopelessly in love with a young man, but she's too shy to tell him."

"And what are we going to do?"

"First of all, we have to figure out who this mysterious crush of hers is. I've narrowed the list to four possibilities: Hugh O'Connor, Simon Blackquill, Phoenix Wright and Robin Newman."

"Phoenix Wright is way too old for her and Robin Newman is a girl. And her crush is obviously Apollo Justice."

"No way. I would have never thought of him. I mean, look at those ridiculous spikes and that huge forehead. They have girl-repellent written on them."

"So then, What can I do to make her confess?"

"You're going to possess her and do it yourself."

"Possess her? I can do that?"

"Of course, you're phantom. And since you're an expert at impersonating people, you should be capable of doing it without raising any suspicions."

"Are you sure is right to impersonate her?"

"Are you questioning my sense of justice!? Just do it."

The phantom entered Juniper Woods and took over her body. For impersonating someone without nobody noticing, it wasn't enough to behave like them. You had to think like them, assume their identity. He didn't have to pretend to be Juniper Woods, he had to be Juniper Woods.

"Apollo... I...I love you." He said, blushing knitting a scarf. _Ok, now just repeat that in front of him._

He head towards the Wright Anything Agency, hoping that Apollo Justice would be there. The door was open, but his years as a spy have taught him to always eavesdrop and look into a room before entering it, and so he did. Apollo Justice and Trucy Wright were facing each other behind a couch. Athena Cykes was kneeling on the couch, looking at them and eating popcorn. The phantom sneaked in and hid behind another couch without them even noticing.

"Athena, I'd like to talk with Trucy in private."Apollo said." There's a reason why I've asked Mr. Wright to go and buy a Chinese vase. So if you please..."

"I have as much right as you to be here." Athena retorted, stuffing her mouth with popcorn.

"Whatever. I have to take this off my chest already. Trucy, I think...I think I have a crush on you." _What!? He likes another girl? This wasn't part of the plan. _Trucy stood on tiptoe and leaned towards him. _Damn it! She's going to kiss him. That can't happen. I must stop it. I have to do something. _The phantom left Juniper's body, which fell unconscious to the floor, and entered Trucy's. Once controlling her, he stepped back.

"I'm sorry Polly...this wouldn't work out."

"But why? Wait. My bracelet is reacting. Are you hiding something?" _Damn lawyers and their magic powers. I need a distraction...whatever would work. _He looked at Athena, then he grabbed her tie and pulled her towards him, namely Trucy. She opened her mouth in shock and he kissed her right there. He used the tongue. It had to be realistic.

A crash echoed through the office. Everybody looked at the door. Mr. Wright was there, his hands still in the position of holding the Chinese vase that was now broken on the floor and his mouth as open as his jaw could bear.

"This isn't..."Athena started. " I mean... I'm straight."

"More like she thought she was" Widget beeped.

"Apollo, lend me a hand with an experiment." Athena jumped into him from the couch and kissed him in the lips. Her weight and the shock were too much for Apollo and both fell down, but she kept trying to stick her tongue in his mouth.

"T-thena, what are you...?" Juniper's head popped out from behind a couch.

"It's not what it seems!" Athena yelled. Juniper left the office crying. Athena ran after her. Phoenix didn't move an inch. Apollo was rubbing his eyes and staring at the ceiling. The phantom decided that it was time to run for the hills. He left Trucy's body and flew as far as he could. Fulbright appeared in front of him.

"Are you going to lecture me again?" the phantom asked.

"Well, because of you, a young girl broke her heart, another is confused about her sexuality, their friendship is on the line and a very expensive Chinese vase is broken." Fulbright replied." But on the other hand, you've prevented a brother and sister from making out."

"They're siblings!?"

"I heard Mr. Wright talk about it on the phone. And just look at them. It's obvious."

"So...I've made a good deed?"

"I'd say is a neutral balance. But if you write an essay about what you've learned today, I'll add two positive points to your account, just because I'm generous."

"How many negatives points I have?"

"Three billions."

"This is never going to end, right?

And thus the phantom learned the true meaning of love.

* * *

><p>AN: It seemed impossible, but I think this chapter is even more random and bizarre than the first one.

I don't know when I will update this again. It depends on when inspiration for crazy ideas comes to my mind.


	3. Friendship

"So, what exactly were you trying to do with that lighter?" Fulbright asked. "I mean, it was to expect that they would want to check it at some point, wasn't it?"

"Shut up." Phantom replied. " What's going to be today, stopping catfights or putting out a fire?"

"I've found in your wrongdoings list that when you were on fourth grade, you didn't go to the birthday party of one of your classmates."

"That probably was the excluded kid, and nobody went."

"You bully! We're going to make up for that right now!"

"How, may I ask?"

"Obviously. You're going to throw the best birthday party ever!"

"And for whose birthday?"

"Let's search the database. Woah, three hundred millions results. I'll put the filter on this city and then I'll select someone randomly. And the winner is...Myriam Scuttlebutt!"

"Not the most popular girl in town. It'll be difficult to find many people for that."

"You'll have to deal with it. First, let's find her friends! In justice we trust!"

The phantom and Fulbright flew to Themis Legal Academy courtyard, where Hugh and Robin were talking.

"And he make them pay a new Chinese vase!" Robin shouted.

"Mouth-breathers." Hugh scoffed.

"Now posses one of them and get to work." Fulbright said.

The phantom entered Hugh and spoke: "By the way, about Myriam's birthday..."

"Where did that came from all of a sudden, maaaaaaaaaaaaan!? And we've already talk about it. The four of us are going to watch her favourite movie T-O-N-I-G-H-T."

"And that's okay, but it sounds too ordinary to me."

"Too ordinary?"

"Yes. Think about it. It's her first birthday with us. We have to make it special. We should throw a party for her. And not just a party, a first-class party."

"But we can't organize a party in a single day, maaaaaaaaaaaan!" _Good point._

"Maybe it's an impossible task for common people, but for someone who can win an archery contest one-handed and without missing a mark, is piece of cake." _Easily said than done._

"You know what? You're totally right! We have to give her the best party E-V-E-R. And I've had just an awesome idea, man!. We have to bring THE Klavier Gavin to it."

"And how exactly are we supposed to do so?"

"Leave it to me! We prosecutors are all buddies!" She ran away and started shouting even louder: "Party at Themis courtyard tonight!. 8 PM!. With Klavier Gavin! Best party ever, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" _Wait, you can't decide everything on your own. Damn, now everybody will be waiting for Prosecutor Gavin and there's no way he's going to come. I have to do something._

The phantom left Hugh's body and flew fast towards the Prosecutor's Office. As he arrived, he saw a girl climbing up the wall and a man yelling at her from a window.

"Kay! Come here immediately and give me back my phone!"

"But I just want to see your contacts list, Mr. Edgeworth! What's the problem? You have a secret girlfriend you haven't talked me about or something?" _Contact list? That gives me an idea._

"Come here or I'll cut your salary!"

"What salary? You don't pay me. Having fun is my assignment, so just let me do it!" She kept climbing without listening to anymore of Edgeworth's scolding.

When she arrived to the rooftop, the phantom entered her body. Then he picked Edgeworth's phone and search the contacts list until he found Prosecutor Gavin. After that, he picked Kay's phone and text Gavin's number.

**To: Unknown number**

**Hi.**

**From: Unknown number**

**Who are you?**

**To: Unknown number**

**That doesn't matter. All you need to know is that I know your phone number.**

**From: Unknown number**

**?**

**To: Unknown number**

**You're going to receive a request any time soon. You will accept it and you will fulfill it the best you can, or else your phone number will be leaked to the press.**

**And we also know where you live and where you work, so don't call the police unless you want to spend the rest of your life surrounded by stalkers teenage fangirls.**

"What are you up to today, Faraday-dono?" The phantom turned to see Simon Blackquill. _Damn it. Why him of all people?_

"Hi..."_Wait. I don't know what kind of relationship these two have. How should I call him. In this cases, is better to go with the basic. _"...Prosecutor Blackquill. What brings you to the rooftop?"

"My companion wanted to stretch her wings." Taka, who was flying around, perched on his shoulder. "Now answer my question. What are you doing with that phone?"

"Nothing important, really. It's my friend's birthday and I'm looking for a good place to buy a cake."

"Who's this friend?"

"Myriam Scutlebutt."

"Box Girl? I wasn't aware you two were friends." _Neither was I, to be honest._

"So, do you know where to pick a good cake or something?"

"Actually, there was a fellow in the clink who used to be a master pastry chef."

"Cool! It's up to you bringing the cake to the party. 8 PM at Themis courtyard. Bye! " He left jumping and running through the nearby rooftops. When he was far enough, he left Kay's body and came back to Hugh.

* * *

><p>At the time of the party, there were lots of people at Themis courtyard. In addition to Hugh, still possessed by the phantom, Robin, Juniper and a cardboard box, there were the Wright Anything guys, lots of Gavin's fangirls, and some others men and women.<p>

"So, Ema" Apollo Justice asked. " Are you friends with Myriam or have you come to see Prosecutor Gavin?"

"Screw the fop." A woman in bat lab replied. "Where's the cake?"

"That's it, pal!" A big man agreed. "It'll be nice to have something different from instant noodles for dinner."

"You've come here to have dinner for free!?"

"That sounds totally like Gumshoe." Phoenix Wright said.

"Nick!" Another man shouted. "It's been years since last time we met"

"Larry! What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? Where there's a gavinner, there're lots of hot and crazy fangirls." He gazed at Athena. "And talking about hot girls, aren't you going to introduce us?"

"She's eighteen, Larry..."

"But age is just a number, isn't it?"

"Totally!" Athena said. "I'm an adult, boss!"

"You've chosen the worst possible time to say that."

Meanwhile, Trucy Wright was onstage.

"I know you all are eager to Klavier Gavin!" She said. "But before the concert, enjoy the magic of Trucy Gramarye and the amazing Mr. Hat!" The fangirls started to boo her and throw their shoes at her. "Agh! Not heels, please! Okay, I'll prove my worth with the most incredible trick you have ever seen. Let's set this place ON FIRE!"

"Oh, no. Don't do that" Phoenix said.

Trucy pulled out a wooden stick and threw it up in the air. When it fell back, it was somehow afire. She repeated that with more sticks and started to juggle with them.

Then, Blackquill arrived, carrying a cake shaped like a box. When he saw Larry's arm around Athena, pulling her closer to him, he threw away the cake and reach for his sword.

"Put away your filthy hands from Athena, you malicious degenarate!"

Larry ran away and Blackquill ran after him. The cake stomped Trucy's face. She fell backwards and dropped one of the fiery sticks, which fell on top of the cardboard box. The fire consumed it completely, and when all the smoke was gone, there wasn't anything left.

"Wait, where's Myriam?" Juniper asked.

"So tha's the great T-R-I-C-K? You've make her dissapear?" Robin said. " That's awesome, maaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Where's she, anyway?"

"I-I don't know." Trucy said, wiping the cake off her face.

"If you don't tell us her whereabouts, then it's a kidnapping, pal!" Gumshoe said. "Arrest her, Skye."

"As you wish." Ema replied, handcuffing Trucy.

"Apollo, do something!" Trucy shouted.

"Ema!" Apollo shouted. "Stop this!"

"We all know this was bound to happen sooner or later, Apollo."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Are you serious about this, Detective!?" Phoenix asked. "I can sue you for wrongful arrest."

"Thinking about it, what are you doing in a teenager's birthday party? That shouts suspicious, pal. Arrest him too!"

"Wait, what!?"

After handcuffing Phoenix, the detectives put him and Trucy in the backseat of a police car and drove away. _they've come in a police car? _Another police officer came and shouted:

"Prosecutor Gavin, we've finally found the blackmailer! If you want to question her, I'll drive you to the detention center! Wait, where's my car!? It was here just a moment ago!"

"No problem." Gavin said. "We'll run there." They both left running and the fangirls army followed them.

Right after, the Kitaki family appeared.

"We've brought muffins!" Little Plum said, raising two bags full of muffins. Wocky and Big Wins were also carrying two bags each.

"Shame on you, Pointy-locks!" Wocky shouted. "You throw a party and you don't hire us for the catering!? You have a death wish!?"

"I'm not the one throwing the party." Apollo replied. "And I think the party is over."

"Over?" Big Wins asked. "But we've work so hard on these muffins...It would be such a waste if nobody ate them."

Apollo swallowed. "Athena, I think that plot hole you call stomach would come in handy right now."

"Sorry, Apollo, but the boss is going to need a lawyer and I'm the one to defend him!"

"Wait, Why you and not me?"

"Mmm...I know! The first to the detention center take the case!" She ran away.

"Shoot! Always the same!" He yelled. The Kitaki family glared at him. He sat down and started eating muffins.

Suddenly, the phantom had a hunch. He picked up Hugh's phone.

**Eight messages from Myriam Scuttlebut on the voicemail.**

**16:00:"I'm so happy to celebrate my birthday with you guys! I've even drop my box at Themis courtyard! I don't need it today!"**

**16:55:"Guys, we were coming to the 5 PM session, right? I mean, it's five minutes to 5 and none of you are here yet."**

**17:10:"Guys, where are you? The movie is starting. I hope you don't mind I've entered without you, I just love this movie."**

**19:20:"The movie just ended. Why didn't you come? Oh, I know! It's a surprise party, right? You're going to throw a party for me at my apartment!"**

**19:50:"Guys, are you hiding here? Well, no problem. I've always liked hide-and-seek."**

**20:30:"Guys, you can come out, now. This is not funny anymore."**

**21:00:"You're still mad at me about what I wrote about you on the Themis Herald, are you not? Is that, right? I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me! I'll do anything. You can come and pick on me all you want."**

**22:00"Okay, I get it! So you don't want anything with me! Well, if you hate me, you could have just said it to my face! This is not going to end here! You've made a terrible enemy!"**

_I knew I forgot something._

"Want to know how's your good deeds account. " Fulbright asked, popping out of nowhere.

"No. I'd rather not.

And thus the phantom learnt the true meaning of friendship.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've been thinking that you could make a videogame from this story: Help the phantom to make good deeds. You can possess the other charactes to use each one's special abilitys (pickpocketing for Kay for example). I've been also thinking that I think way too many random things.**


End file.
